Being Longer in the Tooth Rocks!

I’m no expert, but I have a tendency to collect mentors with compelling ideas that are useful and doable. Clarity is my new buzzword. Here are a few ways to greet the day with more support and positive energy.

My intention in my blog is to spread the joy!

This winter, my hubby and daughter decided that she should take up the mighty challenge of becoming an Olympian downhill skier!!!! So my blogging took a back seat.

I focused my small amount of writing time into my novel and it’s paying off, if I can blow my own trumpet. The final chapters of ‘Northern Branches’ are forming into a grand conclusion. There’s no way I could do it without the trusted, insightful feedback from my writing group. So a shout out to Soundshore Writers.

I’m pre-warning friends who are fast, avid readers, that I’ll be asking/begging you shortly to read my latest and brightest version of “Northern Branches.”

We’ve been skiing at Catamount for five years or so and the kids have developed into fabulous skiers and I’m very very grateful to all the hard work of the parent volunteers that has made that happen. Sonia, Doug, Charles you are amazing! It’s fabulous to have children with huge dreams because my daughter has gained a place in a Vermont ski academy, so we’ll be skiing at Mt. Snow next winter. It’s a thrilling and proud-filled time for us.


I ended my skiing at Catamount, by trying to follow hubby down a steep, off-piste, chute directly under a two-man chair. Yes, there was a moment of ‘Oh hell’, a definitive loss of balance, one ski abandoned, and a decent bash on the side of my head, (I was grateful to be wearing a helmet). Thus with a bruised brain and ego, I sulked in the lodge.

Our family had the pleasure of meeting a three-time Olympic ski racer Chip Knight on a trip to Utah. I had started to chat to a smiley lady beside me at lunch and didn’t notice her humble son and very cute grandson beside her. Chip coaches and directs the ski team in Utah. His gracious advice that “it’s all about snow time” and ‘practice and practice some more’ made my daughter’s winter. So the Universe is giving us positive signs for her future.


Digressing a moment, I had another run-in with a Jamaican Olympic potential athlete, who cleaned out my kitchen sink pipes over Christmas. He was young enough to be my son, but I enjoyed him bending down to inspect my plumbing. Oh boy!

Another friend sent a picture of two young, naked men decorating a Christmas tree. She said she was sending them my way after she was done. I don’t know what this says about me, but I enjoy having a naughty laugh to brighten the world.

It’s been a tremendous time for emotional growth for me. My hubby and I are redefining our connection and we’re practicing new communication techniques with our teens. I don’t get it right a lot! Pausing and using “I feel ‘frustrated’ cos ‘you’re ignoring me’ when ‘the dog needs feeding and will starve to death’ is an example of this! There has to be an immediate consequence if they keep ignoring me. Perhaps throwing their iPad out the window or flushing it down the toilet. Just saying!

Some days I thrive and feel like the rest of my life is going to be an amazing journey, and other days I binge watch The Crown or Grace and Frankie in my pjs. I keep asking my inner critic to have a well-deserved holiday!

Somedays, I don’t shower, I often don’t brush my hair and only do oral care when my tongue sticks to my teeth. I returned my hair to its natural, beautiful grey and I love the freedom and financial reward this brings. Anyway, being longer-in-the-tooth rocks!


I celebrated my dear friend’s 97 year old mother’s life at her wake this week and it was so loving and celebratory with Frank Sinatra playing in the background.

At the end of our lives, if we are loved it’s been a great life.

Can we time travel back to Christmas for a moment, remember I wrote the deluxe survival guide to the Holidays, well in full-disclosure-mode I give my humble apologies to the Restivos, Mr. Green and Ms. Stern, our festive companions for being grumpy. I was over-zealous in my cooking choices, even after my Christmas survival blog post. Being a work in progress means it is a long and often arduous journey on the same well-trodden path – every day with me, doggie and sometimes favorite son, when I’m lucky!


I didn’t really appreciate that practice means to fail a lot, pick myself up a lot and keep on trying my best! I gotta listen to the best, sorry Chip!

I’m hoping if I bear witness to my chronic mistakes and bad habits I’ll help others feel less alone. This leads me to describe what I want to share in the next couple of blog posts.

I lead a blessed and often joyous life, especially if I make clear intentions for each day and ‘Find the delight in as much as I can.” I stole these fabulous and simple ideas from Brendon Burchard’s book, High Performance Habits, which I recommended in my last post.

I fully confess that on days when I have had five hours sleep or less, I have been known to go back to bed and nap. However, I try as much as humanly possible to have productive plans and focus on my good intentions.

Each morning when I awake, I’m training myself to open my eyes and say “Thank you for the gift of another miraculous day.” This starts me off on a positive, high energy note.


I’m so grateful to so many expert’s research and knowledge to support my growth, I’m watching Brene Brown’s Youtube video on SuperSoul Sunday with Oprah, where they are talking about dealing with failure and “Rising Strong”. This amazing Psychologist and researcher focuses on the power of vulnerability.

Here’s the link;




I listen to Tara Brach, a mindfulness, meditation guru, who is the real deal. Her talk “Healing Addiction:De-conditioning the Hungry Ghosts”  is very compelling and compassionate. I’m addicted to thoughts that don’t help me believe in myself, and this talk explains what is going on and how to fix it. Here’s a direct link to the Addiction talk, it’s really worth a listen.


Visit her website

This is a screen shot from my phone of her website, search is top right of her name. I just signed up for her mailing list, I should have done this years ago.



For readers who don’t have the time, or energy to listen, read or watch mentors, I completely understand how overwhelming life can be, so I’ll summarize their wisdom for you in later blogs.

There are so many positive spirits who shine their light and love into the world. 

If you join Burchard’s mailing list you receive weekly free advice, and very cheap insightful online courses are available.

Burchard explains that clarity is the key ingredient for becoming successful and happy.

He suggests setting an event on your phone calendar reminding you of who you want to be in the world. Whether it’s kind, compassionate, neutral or playful, the qualities are up to you.

I see my qualities every time I check my schedule, reminding me to be a supportive, kind and loving human.

Everyone has unique gifts. 


For some it may be nurturing your family, programming computers, singing, playing the guitar, painting, building, cleaning out pipes, planting – everyone has unique gifts.

Be very clear about who you want to be in this world. Think about how you spend your day. What do you do no matter what the rewards are? What makes you smile? Do these activities more!

Tara Brach describes this as working towards your North Star.


Although mornings can be hectic, it’s a great time to set your intentions for the day.

Perhaps add one of two supportive activities as soon as you wake up to help nurture a positive, calm mindset, e.g. a two minute floor stretch routine (perhaps I’ll video a few ideas to share in the next blog) or make a quick mental list or write a journal list of why you feel grateful.

I’ve been hearing a lot about the power of the mind, placebo effect, the power of intentions, belief, motivation and so much more. I can’t wait to share energetic snippets with you.

I’d also very much appreciate your tried-and-tested suggestions to help me navigate this amazing journey!


Live fabulous lives, laugh louder than anyone else

and I hope you find the courage to believe in Amazing Selves!!!!

A Survivor’s Guide to the Holidays

I’m no expert, but I have a tendency to collect ideas that are useful and doable. Simplicity and clarity are my new buzzwords. Here are a few ways to lessen the burden of holiday stresses and demands. It’s okay to acknowledge that this is a tough time of year, but if we peer closer we’ll notice the dustings of magic and joy. Let’s focus on the fun and ease up on the hardship. I know it’s a long post so jump to what speaks to you. Blessings.


Let’s start with basic organization and clarity. Have a family group text so everyone knows what’s happening.

Consider creating a family group calendar too. Kids don’t necessarily have to be involved until they’re in their teens. The parent who is in charge of an event can be supported by the others when everyone knows exactly when, what and where things are taking place.

We all know the importance of prepping busy days the night before, just a few minutes before you sleep. Either journal your intentions for the next day or think about the problems you need to solve and let your unconscious mind work on it over night. Then in the morning again focus on the intentions and energy you want to bring to your morning routine with the kids. Brendan Burchard in his latest best-selling book “High Performance Habits” suggests you prioritize three tasks that will definitely move the pendulum closer to your intended target.


As Brendon Burchard explains, there are so many opportunities to reenergize in the many transitions that break up every day. We are constantly moving from one activity to the next. Just take a moment and chose the feeling you want to bring to a phone call, a meeting, the shopping trip or when you arrive home from work.

Start buying presents as early as September. Bath bombs, chocolate bars, special cookies, nougat, home made soaps, boys love gadgets and wooden square shape puzzles. My teens love Hot Topic for tee shirts and teen garb.

Avoid over-spending as it has a negative impact on your entire year. If you have time and the interest bake some special cookies, or brownies with red and green sprinkles for gatherings and friends. Show love without making your credit card smoke.

Xmas food plate

Have a gathering, order pizza and munch chips and dips. It’s the company not the feast that’s important.

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Tough Communication Lessons

First thing in the morning, consciously deciding to try to be the most patient, enthusiastic mom/dad/friend/spouse/brother/sister/daughter etc. that you can be is a great idea. It gives me a little more understanding of my kid’s tired and grumpy outlook. With focused intention you have a little barrier against their young, unconscious attacks because you are more mindful and realize “They are only kids.” “He is only 13!” etc.

A deliberate intention to have an active conversation with your kids is a great one – any time of the year. Sometimes we have to start with a question in our voice and offer a short open-ended question and wait a long time to see if there’s an answer: “Hey buddy, what’s happening with so and so?” or “Is it possible to stop biting your sister and come and give me a hug?”

kids in Xmas Pajamas

Whenever there’s a quiet moment, whether it’s in the car or during dinner, spend a few moments talking to your kids about their interests. Sure kids are egocentric it’s part of their developement, but they are also struggling to create a secure place in this stress bucket of a world. They need to feel that someone sees them and cares.

Mom and kid at Christmas

I’m also learning to validate my loved ones’ feelings. When I listen to what they are describing. I say “Gosh, you sound stressed, frustrated, angry, agitated etc” and stop right there. You know from this blog that I like to problem solve, but if I always do that for peeps, then I’m not allowing them to release their feelings and flush them down the toilet. I’ve been trying to hurry them past this uncomfortable stage, in order to make them feel better quicker. In doing so, I’ve realized, with help, that I’m not allowing them to experience difficult emotions fully. We all know feelings are temporary no matter how painful and this is a good lesson to learn. Some weeks suck and my loved ones need to be able to cope when this happens. Then when they’re ready and ask for my advice then we can problem solve together so that they own it.

De-stressing Techniques

During a conversation if my kid suddenly becomes frustrated with my endless snooping and gets a bit grumpy

yelling kid

(really who can blame them) I use these silly techniques which my son calls “childish” go figure. We’ve covered some of them before but they are skills that need to be practiced with repetition:

  1. Place an imaginary force field at my front, sides and back to fend off their attack. Make this transformation in a Super Heroic-like way by using whooshing sounds and dramatic hand gestures. The child soon gets the idea that I feel that I need protection from them in a fun nonaggressive way, and that it’s their responsibility to work out the best way to calm themselves down.

batman bauble

  1. Shake off the negativity like a duck in water, shaking my head, shoulders and torso maybe up to five times, and making the sound “Burr” or “Ah” seems to help.
  2. If I want to be even noisier, which I tend to like, find a quiet spot alone and say “Bla bla bla” loudly to yourself and the tension lifts.
  3. If my family drives me a little nutty, I force myself to take a time out and breathe with long extended breaths. I breathe in for 5 counts, hold my breath for 5 (if I can) then exhale for 7 or whatever I can manage – it often changes. This soothes my mind and sympathetic nervous system. Choose a count that works with your body.


Encourage the kids to get involved in wrapping presents in a kind of nonnegotiable, calm, decisive way. They can go crazy curling the bows and knotting the string and who cares if it isn’t perfect you all had fun creating them together.

heart pressie

As I am an expat when family send money as a gift, I buy my children suitable presents. It’s just more fun for the kids. Now that they’re teens they want the money of course!


Avoid buying gifts you think your kids will love. I have done this too many times. I tried to persuade my daughter that she would love a fabulous baking set that I decided was the perfect gift. In truth, she only bakes to consume the delicious product in as short a time as possible. She has never once looked or touched the baking set since that fateful Christmas.

Watch what your child does in a quiet moment. If it’s reading, than get yourself to the library and get a list of the best books for your child’s age from the librarian – they are experts especially in the White Plains Trove section of our public library. Amazon sell perfectly great used copies.

xmas gift

If they sketch, buy them a pencil art set, or pastel pencils or if you’re more daring a water color set. If they keep a journal or a diary buy them a magical one. These are all basic ideas, but strangely over the years these gifts have persisted and I know why, so why break something that already works?


We only have a finite amount of physical and emotional energy every day.

So I scatter self-loving moments throughout these hectic days to honor my efforts and replenish my energy.

  • Listen to soothing music, perhaps seasonal if you can stomach it. Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby can’t be beaten. I found a beautiful singer called Eva Cassidy, whose voice is so haunting and her best of album is full of amazing favorites everyone will recognize and love.
  • Just try two minutes worth of meditation/slow dancing with yourself or yoga. Go to U tube and type in 5 minute yoga. A little sequence will come up. Meditation and yoga activates parts of your brain to overcome stress more easily. I can’t recommend Insight Timer ap. highly enough for its guided meditations.
  • Take a leisurely family walk in nature, perhaps in the nearest woods or wind swept beach to work off lethargy and feel a connection to the heavens, the trees and as I stumble over a rock I sense the stability of Mother earth beneath my feet.
Photo by Michael Renkert Denali National Park, Alaska. c/o Sierra Club that sends a daily beautiful pic and positive affirmation to Messenger
  • I admit that several times I intend to stuff myself with healthy, tasty morsels and then slob out in front of a delightful family movie like Ice Age, Harry Potter, James and the Giant Peach, Swiss Family Robinson, Time Bandits, Back to the Future, Star Wars, The Red Balloon, Galinha Pintadinha 2, Home Alone, The Princess Bride, ET, Hugo, Hachi: A Dog’s Tale, Up, Toy Story, Ratatouille, How to Train your Dragon, Paddington Bear, Moana, Finding Nemo.

toystory pic.jpeg

  • Use a moisturizing facemask, take a warm, aromatic bath with candles. Read that novel that’s been sitting on your bedside table for six months. Delve into just a few pages to escape in a happening that belongs only to you and your fabulous imagination.
  • Steal out for a massage party with some other long-suffering moms or dads.
  • Try an amateur massage technique by leaning your body weight gently in a rocking fashion into your clenched fists and straightened arms on top of a recipient’s hamstrings (back of thighs) – this feels awesome!
  • Or just lie on your back on the floor with your knees bent and tucked in close ish to your chest and make circular motions with your hips. This really brings a sense of ease and support from Mother Earth.

fun family xmas tree pic.jpg

  • Take the time to go to a musical concert of some kind to fill your soul with heavenly, cleansing, human energy brought to you by voices and breath. It really is an uplifting experience.
  • Finally, a little alcoholic treat might be a fabulous idea, followed by a few yummy chocolates. Preferably red wine for our brain health and 70% cacoa dark mint chocolate to reduce the sugar.
  • Avoiding too much sugar will protect you from the energy slumps and the crazy-kid sugar highs.

Offer kindness, joy and support when possible to feel much lighter

I try to support a good cause by collecting gloves or hats for the homeless etc. during the cold months. I want to be that person who serves Christmas dinner for the homeless every year to show my kids how privileged they are. One of these years, we will go and help out at a homeless shelter.

Contact loved ones or not so loved ones and just let them know you are still alive and well. Tell them that your sending blessings. Perhaps talk to tricky peeps for a short time and disperse the chats so that you don’t drain your energy too quickly.

Be the kind person who pays a visit and shines love and light into an elderly neighbor or family member’s day. During the visit, if possible check that their house is warm, secure, clean, and safe. Perhaps enquire if they have food for the holidays and a little company. One day we will all (hopefully) be elderly, and perhaps a little lonely, sitting for long stretched-out days feeling lost and wondering if we have enough energy to tidy our garden or such like. 

Less Judgments

I’m trying every day to keep my judgments of others locked away in a box that I hide in the furthest reaches of my mind. I often ponder on why I’m so judgmental and that is something I have to find peace with. It’s not a comfortable thought process but a necessary one that takes time and honesty. Holidays gives us a time- off from soul-searching thankfully!


Choose real, unprocessed foods for your special festive celebrations.

Prep the day before: Peel potatoes the night before and store in water with a slash of lemon juice. Roast the root vegetables and store them overnight in the fridge. Then brown and reheat them in a highish oven, say 400 degrees for ten minutes before the meal.

healthy xmas dinner pic

Focus on making gravy with the bird juices on the feast day and keep the bird or other roast moist by slow cooking. I sometimes brine the bird the day before to make it a little tastier, but it doesn’t make a significant difference. Try roasting your bird chest down in the pan and then turn it the right way up to crisp up the breast skin for 10 minutes with the veg at the end on a higher heat. Stabbing fresh garlic and ginger with some rosemary sprigs into any meat works wonders.

Avoid over cooking. Poultry needs to be cooked until there is no blood in the juices and red meat is more juicy with a little blood oozing out. That’s my preference, I must be a little french.

Last year we had steak, mash and beans for a holiday dinner and it was yummy. I didn’t prep for seven hours, peeling until my fingers bled and ached. I kept it simple, felt happy and relieved because in the end, we still had content, full bellies. I wasn’t frazzled and had enough energy left to serve a yummy (bought) desert and play Pictionary.

Drink plenty of water or tea to dilute the over indulgence of alcoholic beverages that may accompany these types of festive days. Kombucha tea tastes a little like apple juice and it also supports friendly gut bacteria for our immune system.

You can pretend it’s alcoholic and I’m a little convinced it has a giggle factor

Perhaps this is a great time to buy the family a bottle of vitamin D3 drops or capsules with vitamin K as there are too many health benefits to list here. Store it in the fridge beside the acidophilus to support the immune system over the winter. Some miso soup and fermented pickles in a left-over turkey sandwich promotes gut health too.


I realize that these ideas involve action. If we lie around, eat, drink and watch television, we loose the opportunity to live a soul-resounding life as Oprah put it so well recently. Yes it’s really hard. Yes we’ve all suffered a series of disappointments along the way, yes we question our value BUT we all deserve a multi-layered, love-filled, rich existence.

Obviously, we can’t do everything but make an intention to prioritize one or two different tweaks that you can try during the holidays and afterwards. Write your intentions in a journal. Say what you’re going to do before you sleep and when you wake up. Anything is possible. High achievers consciously choose to change their negative emotions into positive ones that will support their next goal. We can do the same!!!!

Slow and steady wins the race.


I’m sending out blessings at the close of a tumultuous year for many. I truly hope this season is the most loving one for all the different parts of your amazing, joyous, intricate lives. We are all miracles! May the next four seasons be filled with much more happiness, hope, space and peace.

I feel so grateful to be able to remind you, with a thundering drum roll, that you are simply glorious.

Forgetfulness and GroundDogs Be Gone!

Are you the type of person who knows and adores someone for years, you meet regularly at book club or at school events, you hug, avidly find out each other’s latest excitements and for the life of you YOU CAN’T REMEMBER THEIR NAME?!

This is the brain that was given to me.

When I was teaching, in my thirties my brain functioned at a higher resolution and I managed to fuddle my way around two to three hundred girls’ names each year. Well to be honest the teenage girl is a terrifying creature so I was very motivated to try my hardest to remember.

Where did I leave my keys today? In the dish in the hallway where they’re suppose to retire every evening, I fear not. Then again, I need my purse before I can find my keys because I can’t go anywhere without money. Luckily a purse is a object with some substance and color. Keys are tricky as they are small little creatures and tend to hide in nooks and crannies. They don’t say much either. I’d appreciate a whispered “I’m over here, you silly Dim-bat.” However, that’s a fantasy and instead I’ll just go and lift up the sofa to see if anything useful is under there.

I do try and be consistent with where I leave my keys, well most of the time. So hubby got me a phone app. called Tile that has a little tile attached to my keys and via the magic of bluetooth it can find them and make the tile beep so that I can hear my keys calling to me. It’s a pretty darn helpful device.

I didn’t want to look into Alzheimer’s because I’m scared of it as any sensible human should be, but Oprah’s The Magazine’s June 2017 forced me to share its information.


Alzheimer’s is the most common presentation of dementia, which is a decline in our mental cognition, memory, reasoning, and often our personality. When I was a nurse years back, I remember the anger and confusion in many Alzheimer’s patients and the enormous amount of stress involved in caring for them.

It’s a terribly tragic disease for victims and family.

Alzheimer’s patients have two proteins found in their brain in autopsy. Beta-amyloid which forms plaques and tua which creates tangles in the brain.


Maria Shriver’s father Sargent was diagnosed with Alzheimer in 2003, she described him as a brilliant man. As a result of her father’s diagnosis, Shriver recently teamed up with Equinox Sports Clubs to encourage its members to value their brains as much as their bodies in a Move for Minds crowdfunding event ( She writes:

“I want women to realize that they spend all this time and money on their lips, their thighs, and their eyes, but none of that will matter if you don’t have your mind.”


Well I blame my dysfunctional estrogen levels for my scattiness, but who knows.

Worryingly, every 66 seconds another brain develops this tragic disease and two-thirds of the brains are female.

The National Institutes for health spend billions researching cancer, HIV and heart disease and much less on Alzheimer’s.

“Women suffer disproportionately in terms of pure numbers, and we need to understand how sex biology contributes” says Dena Dubal, MD, PhD, assistant professor of neurology at the University of California, San Francisco.

There hasn’t been enough gender-focused research done. I’m grateful that Shriver  founded the nonprofit Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement (WAM) to raise funds to improve this.

Experts think there are direct links to depression, stress and inflammation that can be addressed in our 30s, 40s and 50s to ward off Alzheimer’s.

Other Connections that may Affect Alzheimer’s are:

  1. Untreated high blood pressure. Changing diet and regular exercise are vital.
  2. Certain reactions to medication
  3. Pregnancy
  4. Perimenipause
  5. Inadequate amounts of sleep
  6. Hormone imbalances – can affect mood and energy levels.
  7. High bad cholesterols may cause plaque in vessels that may restrict the blood flow to particular parts of the brain.
  8. Take care with sugar intake as Diabetes is linked to damaged walls in the circulatory system.
  9. High levels of blood sugar causes insulin resistance which is linked to Alzheimer’s
  10. Smoking – everyone knows that’s awful for so many reasons
  11. Generalized inflammation caused by unhealthy diets and lack of exercise, deficiency of Vitamin D and many other things

Scientists are now realizing that a healthier lifestyle can possibly decrease the presence of Alzheimer’s by about 30 per cent.

Preventative and Supportive Steps we can all take:

Regularly exercise in any way you enjoy reduces the plaque build-up in our brains says Richard Isaacson MD, director of the Alzheimer’s Prevention Clinic at Weill Cornell Medicine and New York-Presbyterian Hospital.


Physical exercise may improve the health of our hippocampus, one of our memory centers. It also stimulates the growth of new blood vessels and thus increases the nourishment to our brains. Working out boosts our levels of growth hormones and therefore most likely creates an overall healthier environment in our brains.

One study in Australian suggested that high intensity strength training two or three times a week for six months improves the general workings of our brain.


Dr. Mercola suggests that even simple squats and arm raises for a few minutes at a time carried out two or three times a day can improve our overall health, including our brain. Now that is a doable idea.

Set an alarm on your phone to motivate you to leave your desk and do single leg balances, squats and leg raises just for a few minutes. This helps to eradicate the problems with sitting for long periods.


Yoga, my friends is a fabulous stress buster and may help the brain in a few ways, says Helen Lavretsky, MD, professor in residence in the psychiatry department at UCLA. Stress hormones suppress the hippocampus volume and function, that affects our memory, and stress induced inflammation is linked to neuronal damage.

In a study by Lavretsky adults aged 55 plus, who attended an hour long yoga class per week and meditated 12 minutes per day for 12 weeks had less stress and their verbal memory increased. This Lavretsky says would help old and young people alike.

You can stretch out anywhere, walls, chairs and mantlepieces all make useful props for balancing too.


A healthy brain diet is an important first step to prevent the onset of this disease. Apparently our cranium desires and needs plants. Eating a Mediterranean style diet and munching on heart- improving vegetables and nuts in between meals for snacks is great. Cut down on animal products, sugar and bad fats. Healthy grass fed meats and grass-fed dairy are much better for us as the animals are fed their natural food source.

Leafy greens come out as the top food source to eat 6 servings a week are recommended and any vegetable at least one serving per day.


Nuts are encouraged 5 times per week and berries at least twice a week.

Fish once a week and chicken twice, are healthy choices. Omega 3s like DHA found in seafood help increase the brain’s cells’ communication with other neuronal cells.

Can’t beat a yummy smoked salmon brunch

A vitamin B complex and especially vitamin B12 found in chicken and fish is linked to better memory (if you’re a vegetarian take a food based supplement).

Cut out sugar as much as possible to have a healthy brain.

Remember that fruits have a lot of sugar. Perhaps have treats at the weekend, or after a hard day and be good the rest of the time. We are flawed humans after all.

One of my favorite pieces of advice is to indulge in a glass of red wine every day. Yay see life is fabulous!


The second amazing suggestion is drink green tea. Honor Whiteman writes in Medical News Today “the beverage can enhance our brain’s cognitive functions, particularly the working memory.” Green tea has so many health benefits it’s really worth the time getting to love, love, love that hot, comforting beverage.

Latest Research on How to Remember Stuff Better

Birthdays and anniversaries are an embarrassing problem in my life-bubble. Guess what? I forget them. Strangely enough I don’t forget my own birthday. Even my kids’ dates of birth are a struggle and my son was born on my sister’s birthday. I never feel completely confident that I’ve got my daughter’s date right and I was there that day. However, I was a tad overstretched in more areas than I’d like to divulge. What does that say about my mothering skills? Luckily my hubby is very organized and even puts his latest bowel movements on the schedule. Okay, I’m kidding, but you get the point.

Perhaps if there are direct consequences to me forgetting something then it might improve my memory. I try to keep times and dates in my head and not always look at the schedule and if I remember them I can have a cuppa green tea with a buddy as a reward.


Instead of letting my week flow quickly by with routine activities, I am beginning to schedule excursions to a local bakery and chat about pastry consistency or visit the library or local privately-owned book store and discuss creepy characters and fabulous life stories with the owner.

It’s been found that if I break my routine and do something a little special or different than normal with a friend I create a new memory. Thus I will use my mind and be social at the same time.

I need to work on being more social and avoid hiding under the bed for days at a time. I believe that being kind and helpful to others brings joy and a better working mind also.

Having a support network helps in so many ways. If friends encourage me to read more, or challenge me to memorize a poem or their cell numbers, these little non-stressful tasks can make me feel amazingly smart. I’m constantly challenged by the amazing women around me.

I’m so grateful for you!

As a busy modern peeps, I feel compelled to multi-task, however if I savor the present moment by stopping and staring into my beautiful child’s eyes and seeing their wonder,  I’m guessing I’ll feel more alert and alive. That’s gonna clean out the cobwebs in anyone’s dusty hippocampus and probably freak out my kid. But hey they’ll know I care and that I’m listening. It means my kids are important to me.


I have a new, clear intention to put brain health in the forefront of my mind, to start improving my memories and prevent anymore from slipping away.

Live well and lead productive, happy lives!

Ideas to Consider when you are Faced With having a Breast Biopsy

So who hates the sound of the dentist’s drill? Well having your boob drilled is equally if not more intoxicating and quite frankly violent in many respects. Yes it’s enough to make me wet myself, wrap my dainty chest in a hundred layers of toilet paper and run for the hills.


I question whether it is always the best idea that this very invasive procedure is deemed the next immediate step by many factions of the medical community. There are complementary methods and ideas to support breast care that you can start implementing right away that aren’t quite so stressful.

I’m not trying to make light of this serious topic or biopsy procedure. I take breast health very seriously. However, I felt compelled to write this blog after yet another friend asked me, “What’s a thermogram? I’ve never heard of it.”

It’s up to YOU and not your doctor to decide the important next step to take for your breast care.

Did you ever consider that if you have painful, or lumpy boobs (fibrocystic for you medical nerds) as I do, the go-to-doctor is a Breast Surgeon? Yes, a professional cutter/slicer/resector. Not someone trained to advise on how to keep your breasts healthy.

Who can we ask about a breast healthy diet? Broccoli, berries, turmeric, walnuts, fish, flax seed, brightly colored veg. apples, garlic and onion, pomegranates all help with breast health and even cancer prevention.

Iodine taken in the form of kelp or seaweed, a yummy condiment that’s similar to salt, is also good for breast health. Avoiding caffeine is recommended. Also soy foods, plant based progesterone serums, and bioidentical hormone therapy can also help prevent disease.


Reducing coffee/sugar/wheat/dairy are also good ways to protect your breasts as it can reduce inflammation. I ask you to take the time to research these ideas.

I am NOT a nutritional expert, but I pick up information here and there. Sadly, none of my knowledge came from a conventional medical person.

I tried to discuss my premenopausal dietary supplements and herbs with a breast surgeon at Westchester Medical and I think I saw her eyes cloud over. She didn’t seem in the least bit interested.


All the professional slicer wanted from me was the permission to squash my boob (using perhaps the equivalent of a 50 pound weight) for a prolonged period of time in a radioactive procedure known as a mammogram.


I humbly admit to having avoided mammograms thus far and I’m very grateful to have remained safe. There are many pros and cons to having mammograms and some sketchy research. Women’s health doesn’t seem to be a priority, but that’s another story.

I’ll leave you with one eye opening thought:

“Radiation from routine mammograms poses significant cumulative risks of initiating and promoting breast cancer. Premenopausal women who get annual mammograms for ten years are exposed to a total of ten rads (radiation absorbed dose) for each breast. Over a thirty-year time frame (40 years -70 for example), that amounts to a cumulative dosage of 30 rads per breast. By comparison, Nagasaki atomic bomb survivors absorbed an average of 32 rads.” “The Wisdom of Menopause” p.534


Therefore, I chose to use a non-invasive technique to protect my breasts after reading a chapter on breast health in Dr. Christine Northrup’s menopause bible, “The Wisdom of Menopause”. She strongly advocated the use of thermograms as the “best screening method currently available” 


It is rare and refreshing to have a conventional medical professional in favor of using alternative tests. She writes:

“Thermography detects the physiologic changes in the breast tissue that have been shown to correlate with cancerous or precancerous states. It is widely acknowledged that cancers, even in their earliest stages, need nutrients to maintain or accelerate their growth. In order to facilitate this process, blood vessels remain open, inactive blood vessels are activated, and new blood vessels are formed…This vascular process causes an increase in surface temperature in the affected regions, which can be viewed with infrared imaging cameras. Additionally, the newly formed or activated blood vessels have a distinct appearance that thermography can detect.” p.533 “The Wisdom of Menopause”

I’ve been having thermograms for years. A lovely lady takes an infrared picture of my bare chest with a specialized camera that identifies the temperature in my breasts.


The idea being that a growing cancer creates new blood supplies very quickly to feed itself and the new blood increases breast temperatures.

I try to use common sense to make informed indecisions and that seems like a sensible idea. I don’t necessarily trust that each conventional health protocol is the best practice.

I like to be my own judge and keeper of my precious body!

Unfortunately, I had several abnormal readings in recent thermograms, so I decided to have a biopsy against my own instincts after an ultrasound confirmed a growing lump.

I’m in pre menopause, I sometimes eat and drink bad stuff, my hormones are all over the place, I just had a stressful finger injury that required too many conventional drugs and 6 hours of general anesthetic, so my body’s balance was upset. It’s an interesting observation that the biopsied boob lump was on the same side of my body as my injured fingers.

Yet I surmised that the most important thing about getting a biopsy is that it gives me peace of mind that actually causes positive physiological changes in my body. Here is another piece of research to alleviate some of our fears regarding breast cancer from “The Wisdom of Menopause.”


I can’t change the health system in three easy steps but I can inform you a little and encourage you to research more and try to avoid allowing your body to be hurt because of a medical system that often seems to be based on financial profit rather than the maintenance of health.

I want to help reduce the fear and worry that a breast biopsy creates.  I’m sharing my limited knowledge and ideas that helped me survive a breast lump scare without too many emotional scars.

  1. Meditate on having healthy and happy boobs beforehand. You know I adore Insight Timer – a free meditation ap.
  2. Don’t get bullied into having a biopsy immediately after the ultrasound as this happened to me and I probably would have allowed it, but luckily I had another appointment. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to cope with it immediately. I needed to be accepting of the procedure first. I would have resented it and would have been much more traumatized had I allowed her to drill me immediately.
  3. Get a second opinion if your instincts are screaming “This doesn’t feel right!’ Sadly I often ignore my instincts, but I’m learning to respect my body more and listen to her.
  4. Research the side effects of having a biopsy. Many women worry that the needle will spread cancer into other parts of the breast not affected when it’s being pulled out of the skin. This is apparently not a worry, but heck the entire situation is stressful and these thoughts add to it.
  5. Put an ice pack on your breast for as long as you can tolerate it immediately before the test to dampen the sting of the local anesthetic that they use to numb the skin and internal breast tissue. Yes, I carried an ice pack with me into the clinic in a freezer bag. I was very glad to have done this.
  6. Don’t worry about the pain if you use the icepack it really makes the entire procedure painless.
  7. I firmly believe in taking a little valerian (a herb to help you relax) and Rescue Remedy from Bach (a herbal relaxation mixture that you spray in your mouth) just before you go into the room to help you stay calm and strong.
  8. Be prepared to have your hubby or friend NOT be allowed into the procedure room. I think a teddy bear or cuddly stuffed animal is a soothing prop. Whatever you need to help you through it. I also think taking a picture of your kids and loved ones into the procedure room to stare at reinforces why you are allowing this procedure as you want to ensure you are healthy for your family.
  9. Finally take headphones and have a happy, loving, joyful song ready and set on pause to play instantly because the whole thing is carried out fairly quickly thankfully. I listened to Phillip Phillips ‘Home’. “Know you’re not alone, as I’m going to make this place your home.”
  10. Sing your heart out during the procedure. I sang an ode of love to my booby not in any key, I think I sang flat, but I sang out loud. (Loud singing helps in the dentist chair too.) I sang something along the lines of ‘I love my beautiful booby, and I’m sorry I have to hurt you to check that I am ok.’ The surgeon said it was the funniest biopsy she’s ever done. Well there’s an interesting first to have. Singing certainly soothed me. The surgeon did mention that she sang “Amazing Grace” with another patient.
  11. Keep believing that everything is okay while you wait for the results. Just tell yourself that no matter what you will be well, healthy, strong and live a long, fabulously sexy life. My doctor got the results back to me by the next morning. She left a message saying, “Hi singing Lady. I’ve got good news for you, everything is fine.”

I’d like to challenge you to honor your breasts at least once a month in a scented bath with a sacred ceremony of protection.


Having a deeper more appreciative relationship with your boobs is NEVER a bad thing. Dr Northrup encourages a method developed by Dana Wyrick, a lymphedema therapist in a clinic in San Diego. Gently stroking any part of our body helps remove impurities back into the lymph nodes, where they will be made harmless.


I believe that healing takes place when we work to understand, accept and embrace the difficult emotions that may crop up and if we keep distress to a minimum during stressful procedures or in times of worry.

My hope is that you find some of my experience helpful and ignore the parts that don’t resonant with you. I also hope that I can help you smile a little when you lie in your steamy tub and talk lovingly to your best assets and think of me! Just kidding! It’s important to laugh when we can. Life is precious and very fleeting.

To find a thermography practitioner in your area (it’s about $150 and isn’t covered by insurance sadly) visit or

Full Circle on Mamaroneck Avenue has an independent company called Image of Health that comes every few months and I’ve been very happy with their screening process and care.


Be well my beautifully breasted readers, both male and female. Breast cancer affects both sexes.

May your amazing mammary glands life long and prosper!

How to Tame Disappointment

I’ve been disappointed recently by the size of my butt and belly, no matter how much chocolate I don’t eat they keep growing:



My preteen and teen kids’ attitudes have been very taxing at times, and I’m upset that summer is coming to an end for another year. Also I was emotionally distrurbed when a Central Park squirrel ate my ice cream sandwich, (this seriously happened).



I also can’t seem to make time for my writing and planning for a long-term, paid career gig!

So what can we do to make disappointment less damaging?

Beat up a piñata? Eat three tubs of choc. chip ice-cream? Watch five episodes of ‘Glee’? Sadly I’ve tried all these activities and it just made me feel bloated and brain dead with little or no relief.

Fact #1: I can’t change or control anyone except myself – this is a tough reality that I keep burying alongside my dog Biscuit’s half-chewed bones!

If I focus on the negative aspects of a relationship I sense a growing presence of damage, irritation, and deep resentment, as I armor up my boundaries. Sometimes my walls are so high I can’t see the sky for the imaginary bricks.


I sometimes ask myself what is this person’s behavior telling me about our situation? What stories am I creating in my head about their behavior? Do they respect me, or care about me, or value or see me? What is the very worst thing about their behavior that brings out my fear? Do I feel safe with them physically or emotionally?

Having the intention to let go of toxicity is so important. I can’t change the person who is hurting me. However, if I can forgive the person, I’m giving myself a precious gift of peace. Having gratitude is important too.

Shifting my attention to the positive sides of a relationship may take effort when I’m in pain. So I give myself a time out. Hey, I’m still a joyful kid ok!!!! I eat that chocolate bar hidden under my bed, next to the sexy undies I haven’t dared to wear yet. I run that warm soapy bath, or read that juicy novel, listen to hippy new age music etc. until I have the space and strength to consider forgiving.

Best to keep my mouth firmly shut until I get to this stage. I don’t want to poke the proverbial bear! Up until quite recently I’ve been known to bite them in the ass or threaten to shove stuff into places that I should never consider going anywhere near!!!

Perhaps while I’m shaving my bits in the bath, I can start to admit to having an active part in the dysfunction. I often act like an ass, and I’m not always RIGHT! I’m human. I grow a little then I regress a lot. Hell, no. I’m right all the time. Yes sir. I’m a good gal!

I own that I often escalate a toxic situation because I ignore the other person’s pain because I  judge quickly and harshly.

I can only change my dysfunction!

So instead of beating myself up, I am beginning to treat my vulnerability and my ability to mess up with Loving Kindness. At the same time, I realize that oth

er peeps aren’t perfect and they deserve understanding when they fail too. 



Fact #2: I am learning to stop expecting other people to behave the way I think they should behave, as it’s counterproductive, and this limiting belief just causes more hurt.

It yells that I am better than they are and that I’m a smart ass!

So Flush expectations down the toilet NOW! It’s an active choice I have to make over and over again. Being aware of having to take that choice is turning onto the road to recovery.

The truth is everyone comes from a place of #pain one way or another and to really appreciate that helps you empathize with that person. If their behavior has limitations in my perspective, and I can’t get this judgy opinion out of my head, then I try to understand that they are giving all they can give.

FullSizeRender.jpgI either release them or I accept them. Sometimes they need to be released as a gentle nudge to say it’s time to make changes.

People will always come and go. Nothing is permanent.

I can’t expect that anyone will put me first, everyone is human and has needs that rise beyond me.

The only person who is responsible for my needs is ME! I own that! I often don’t action it. But I’m trying!

There’s a fun observation I read in #Oprah Magazine. “Take the spotlight off yourself by learning the 20-40-60 rule…At age 20, you’re sure everyone’s thinking about you. By the time you’re 40, you’re starting to care less that people are thinking about you. And when you hit 60, you realize the truth. No one was ever thinking about you. People are generally too busy being their own worst enemy that they don’t even notice your flaws.” (This folk wisdom isn’t always correct, a very small number of people delight in hurting others sadly, but I’ll leave that for another blog.)


Fact#3: Be conscious of being judgmental and try and face the truth! Yikes!

That nasty ol’ judge in me loves to raise her know-it-all-head and smirk at the world. Admitting that my critical mind is real and present is a fabulous first step to taking responsibility for my actions. If I stop dwelling on other people’s failings I lean a little more towards the light and keep my head firmly away from a bucket of dark stinky water.


I have a maddening tendency to fling blame around. He did this cos he’s a jerk and she did that cos she sucks etc. Where do I exist in all this projection of my pain? I see my faults mirrored in the recipient’s behavior, now that’s kinda scary.


Yet it’s okay for me to face the darker side of myself in a loving and accepting fashion. I do it with my therapist, who is a loving kindness expert! I am learning to embrace my shameful side.

Excessive judgments make my heart feel heavy and I’m shameful of my cruelty, leaving me with a very unsettling and negative energy field. It is exhausting to carry the burden of so many judgments of right and wrong.

As soon as I can silence her with a gentle nudge, I lay her down to sleep again; somewhere dark, cosy and far away. I tend to boss her around and scold her, but perhaps by being conscious of my NORMAL negative response, I might be able to slow that down.

It’s humbling being a “work-in-progress” but it’s also a fine state of being.

I still don’t always recognize the moment when my judgmental voice pops out to say her piece, but it’s getting easier to sense her. The moment that I recognize her, I say ”Hi, and bugger off or ‘please leave’ 9for you ladies out there)” before she can rear her nasty, fiery dragon-breathing head anymore. (Yes, I love Game of Thrones.) I might have to run away from her, which is kind of difficult, but there are ways.


It’s a life process to forgive and the most important person to forgive is YOU!


Well if I can find that place of tranquility, perhaps I can face the truth of WHO I AM, warts, purple veins, scabs and all?

I deeply regret having hurt others with my anger, neglect, selfishness and my rejection of my strong sense of invisibility. (I could go on a while here but you get the idea).

I DO feel better when I confess my sins in my journal and then write “I forgive myself again” in upper case letters, MASSIVE letters that take up an entire page. Just to underline their importance!!!!!


I have managed to accept over time that maybe the person I’m disappointed with is doing his/her utmost best shot at whatever it is and I should honor and be thankful for their efforts.

However, when people are rude and don’t listen and talk over me, I have a problem with that. It raises my hackles. But I’m learning to tell them to “Cut it out. It’s rude and I’m not tolerating it.” I say this a little too vehemently sometimes, so I shake myself off, releasing their negativity like a duck shaking his tail feathers in a stormy pond. LITERALLY I SHAKE LIKE A DUCK AND MAKE A BURRING NOISE. This calms me to the extent that I can send the person blessings and love. It might take a few shakes and a few blessings, but it works with patience.

Boy is that judgy mind of mine a hard thing to control. Yikes, so much effort, but it’s so worthwhile for the peace inside my head!

I’m not afraid of good honest, hard work!

And yes I most always get it wrong but I’m beginning to change to old patterns.


Fact#4: Pain often brings growth if you are open to receive wisdom.

Embrace the pain, it’s a gift. It sounds like I’m having a love affair with my pain. Learn to self-sooth! What the heck does that mean? Then make a conscious decision to start to do better.

I’m now recognizing the wisdom of my body and how she can support me in my search for the truth. I slowly scan my body from head to toe and notice if there is tension.

If someone is hurting me, I acknowledge the tingle or flutter often near my heart or I sometimes feel a lump in my chest and an inability to breathe freely when I’m stressed.

If something is wrong with a situation and I’m in danger, my body often warns me! Thank you Glorious Wise Body!

However, I don’t always listen. I am a slow processor of information! That’s me! The truth!

Sometimes I totally misread a situation when the other person’s frustration is triggered. There’s a mean spirit in me that enhances the dysfunction of the moment by responding to the other person’s negative behavior with my own naughty behavior. Yip I love to tease. Then both our anger arrives as a defense mechanism = TOXICITY! DO NOT FOLLOW THIS RECIPE FOR DISASTER!

A useful strategy is to run and hide under a bush until I soothe yourself.


In a quiet place where I won’t be disturbed, (the toilet is sacred to me) I reflect on the other person’s behavior. Perhaps whisper, “I see and feel the pain you caused me and I want to forgive you, to set my heart and spirit free from anger.”

I try and have an intention to forgive. Come on, I can bear down and face that forgiveness Monster! Sometimes this process may take days or weeks.

If I try to feel the pain I caused someone else, (I name them in my mind if I want to) and I internally ask for their forgiveness. This private attempt at compassion might make a teeny, weeny little shift in my own consciousness or awareness.

Could a simple hand gesture help?

Perhaps, if I allow the anger and frustration to surface, and bring it to my emotional center, by gently placing my hand over my heart, this may redirect or change the negative feelings.

By offering love and support to my heart, I honor my love center and all my goodness. Yes, it sounds weird but just try it once or twice. In fact let’s start a Hand-on-Heart-Movement.  I’m enjoying learning to have a closer relationship with my beautiful heart.


If I need extra support I imagine a loving person that is or was in my life and who could be there to give me a shoulder to lean on.

Even better, I try to find a supportive friend to talk over some of my feelings in a strengthening act of self-love. When I offer a glass of wine, or tea and biscuits, a friend is even more understanding and stays longer. I reached out on Facebook recently and I had a beautiful pocket of support, so I used social media to my advantage.

Remember in a difficult situation where I feel hurt or attacked, I am trying to learn to say “Cut it out. I won’t tolerate that.”

Support your position and stay strong. If their behavior doesn’t change then I need to leave the hostile environment. Fight or flight to self-love my Darlings.

Perhaps take a walk, play a sport, or pick flowers or take a yoga class outside.  (If I can’t plug my own yoga class in my blog when else can I? Sorry self-promotion is so crass!)


“Spending time in nature synchronizes our natural rhythms to the universal heartbeat. It supports our own natural timing to be in the right place at the right time. It revives our energy level and renews our spirit.” Diane Ingram

To block out traffic noise or other peeps blabbing in your ear, listen to a guided mediation or healing music as you walk.

I love this loving, mediative prayer to my body and mind. It’s long and repetitive as all good mediation songs should be. It soothes my heart. ry it.

“Thank You” by Carrie Grossman

We are NOT POWERLESS! Yet coming to a sense of the NOTHINGNESS in meditation has soooooo many health benefits I won’t even start.

Self-care is imperative to me.

By soothing my heart with self-love I am more capable of giving love to others. I want to be ‘full of myself’ as Oprah says.

Remember that the most important person to LOVE is YOU!

Let me know how you deal with disappointment in general. I hope this post makes you feel a little better and NOT SO ALONE.

We ebb and flow through life’s continual changes.

I regress, regrow, relearn, reflect, release and renew!

Love to chat as you know. I hope the end of summer is a safe and happy time.


What To Do When You Are Too Attached To Something Or Someone

So who doesn’t love pizza? When that warm, melted cheese coats your tongue and the smooth, orange grease oozes from the sides of your lips. Ok, I’m getting a bit carried away, but yes I used to be attached to pizza in a massive way. These gluten free days not so much, and I feel lighter (sadly not really lighter but hey) and I do enjoy a chewier slice here and there of bastardized gluten free so-called pizza.

pizza (1).jpeg

In this case I had to let go of my weekly obsession and ‘must have’ feelings regarding this snack food because it filled my guts with excessive wind, and that’s never a good thing and we won’t go into any of the other details. Let’s just say the world is a quieter and more peaceful place because I gave up pizza.

But there are other obsessions that I am still grabbing too tightly to. My hubby for example is a yummy individual but I find as soon as I try to smother him in attention or crazy love, he runs for the hills. He can’t breathe and I don’t blame him. Co-dependency is not a sexy phenomenon. I have tried super gluing myself to his butt but it didn’t work. So I guess I gotta stand on my own two feet.

I guess I wasn’t that secure growing up and you know that’s okay now because I’m still in the maturation process and it’s kinda exciting to feel less unstable and to feel like I’m making steady progress. Knowing you need to work on a problem is the first step to fixing it.

problem (1).jpeg

On reflection, I’ve added a few ingredients to limit my life a little, two kids, two guinea pigs, a dog and …. But strangely I’ve found that the more challenges I welcome the freer and more motivated I am to get things right. Be warned, if you don’t stop holding onto my kids like they’re going to leave home or something and abandon you, oh no, then they’ll be out the door so quickly you won’t see your son for computer driven sparks coming from his tushi region.

So all I’m saying is be aware and cautious of attachment to peeps and things.

However, a healthy ice-cream addiction is a fun, healthy summer-only habit. I’m joking. Yet hubby and I enjoyed the finest Long Island ice-cream recently from the Ice-cream Cabin. It’s a no frills kinda place with more ice-cream flavors than any sane person could ever come up with. I tried their vanilla as I find that’s the way to know if a product is to my liking. It fitted the bill except that it had a little bit too much sugar for my personal taste.


So watch out if you find yourself attaching onto someone and something yummy, too often and too tightly. You don’t want to squeeze the life out of the thing and you don’t want your taste buds to get too familiar with the taste of vanilla ice cream. God forbid if you lost your liking for it. If you ate ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week or so – you’d be craving live, nutritio

us food instead. Maybe that’s a new diet plan I might try?!


Stand up to that small part of you that holds onto stuff with your fingers clasped shut and claws inserted. PAUSE. Say a few strong, yet gentle words to yourself and try to understand where that insecurity comes from, use your CALM, WISE MIND to ask yourself “WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?” It’s vital to not allow our Inner Judge to criticize and belittle our feelings. It’s ok to feel wobbly without your teddy to cuddle in bed every night. Forgive yourself for feeling insecure because we’re all supposed to be so strong all the time. BLA!


To be honest, I really don’t feel comfortable in the “I’m the bad girl in this situation” spot but it’s ok. My stroppy teenager self occasionally messes up and I own that. I try to INCREASE my AWARENESS of the problem and behave with a little more CONSIDERATION OF OTHER’S FEELINGS, and WHY NOT THROW IN A LITTLE RESPECT and a sprinkle of KINDNESS the next time around, instead of grabbing on so tightly and turning your object of desire blue.


Indeed, PERFECTION is BORING give me a solid, emotional wreck to talk to at a party any day. As long as they’re honest about what’s going on, and have the motivation to do better. If a friend is struggling, I try to offer a safe place for them to confess their “attachment sins” so that they can ultimately forgive themselves. I don’t always get it right. In fact, I have been aware of taking over a conversation and delivering a monologue on my problems and concerns. Yikes! Ok, I’m trying. Very trying!!!


And of course I’ll forgive a friend too, if I’m involved in the attachment issue. It does snub my nose out of joint if someone tries to steal my ice-cream cone, okay.


However, I know full well that I make bad judgment calls all the time. I tend to be a tad cynical and God forbid harsh in my judgments at times. There, I’ve confessed a weakness to the Universe and I feel better for it.

As a wise yogi said, “Our yoga practice has to be a lot smarter than our old, harmful habits.”

Yoga funny pic Nuts aste!.jpg

It makes me a richer person when I offer support and love to a friend, especially one who is growing and is courageous enough to try and make a shift in their old patterns of behavior.

Screw it, we ALL have WEAKNESSES and we all DESERVE COMPASSION and a lot of LOVE, and REMEMBER in the end WE are the best person to SOOTHE OURSELVES. I have FAITH in you. Keep taking those little STEPS TOWARDS THE LIGHT, keep whispering, “I’m Awesome and I know it” and with the power of TRUTH and love we will prevail. Yikes I’m turning into Winston Churchill!

To read all my posts and to see them as they are published visit and subscribe to support my journey.

I’m trying to write shorter blog posts more often. I hope you like this one. Let me know. Kisses to all.

The Honesty Exchange (Revisited)

This may start a little strange but the advice is solid!


I wrote a post many moons ago about this concept, but it was through the lens of two back-to-back relationships ending. The concept behind it was sound and something I continue to practice in my daily life, but the examples I used to present it back then were, in my opinion, too personal and not the most effective ones to get the message across. This is my attempt to do it better.

In the world of kink and BDSM, we talk about the “power exchange.” I love to focus on the word “exchange,” not as a “one gives and one takes,” but as a mutual give and take between the people involved. It looks a little bit like the symbol for recycling – not a one-for-one exchange, but symbiotic exchange running on a continuous loop.

This particular post isn’t so much about the exchange of power in BDSM, but about…

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Stick With It

A lady close to my own heart. Always trying to grow and nurture her better selves to come to the fore!

Rewrote the end of the manuscript I’ve been working on for a few years now. The first and last chapters always need the most revision. But I think this time I’ve got it. The photo is of the finally finished product. I say finished by that’s just the story I’ve told. Now I need to edit, add chapter headings, and construct a timeline. These are things I’d rather not do, but do them I must. Only then, when I feel the narrative is as tight and the writing as polished as I want it to be, can I send it to my editor.

I have a lot of experience sticking to my writing projects. In other areas of life, I’m not so great. I’ve gained and lost weight for 25 years, never able to stay for long on the slim end of the scale. I’ve also started and abandoned every…

View original post 539 more words